I vowed to unleash the fury of hell if any husband of mine ever laid a finger on a child of ours in malice. One quiet morning I was in the high school with my head down studying, as were my 30 other classmates. I was having trouble with a difficult maths problem and bit my lip in deep concentration. Suddenly a loud noise jolted me out of focus.
We looked up from our books, all of us startled. It was Shepherd Fervent bursting into the room. Fervent was dragging his son Willing by the collar of his shirt and he yanked him to stand before the class. I cringed. Fervent puffed out his chest and threw back his shoulders. His balding head caught the light from the window and he smoothed down the sides of his oily hair.
His other hand held a limp leather strap. Fervent was going to make an example of Willing? Willing stared at the ground and mumbled an apology for being disobedient to his father. I felt a sliver of hope. Maybe the apology was enough to clear him?
In that moment I wanted nothing more than to kill Fervent. To my eyes he was scum of the earth. Willing looked shocked, but obeyed his father. Fervent took a wide stance and drew the strap back over his head. He moaned and whimpered with pain. With all his strength he whipped the poor boy again, and again, and again. Bile rose in my throat and I turned away from the appalling scene. Fervent was a pig and no man of God. My knuckles turned white and I gripped the desk in fury. How dare that man — a leader — treat a child this way?
I shut my eyes to block out the horror and covered my ears. Please make it stop. I stared at the pencil groove on the edge of my desk, and my eyes burned with unshed tears. Fervent left his humiliated son standing at the front of the room. The room was deathly silent. When the overseeing teacher gave him a curt nod, Willing stumbled to his desk and buried his sobs in his hands. The class ended and I stumbled to the lockers in a daze.
From that moment I had nothing but love and compassion for Willing. I was popular and loved at school because I was a gifted student of high-status birth so I did my best to include him in my social circles. An exclusive group of us would meet in the evenings to play basketball or soccer.
We were the misfits and the ones who thought outside the box. Willing hung out with us and I developed something of a crush on him which I dared not tell anyone for fear of punishment. What I believed was that all children deserved love. Babies were a big part of life in Gloriavale.
Grandad was very fond of bragging that we had the biggest families in New Zealand. A favourite sermon of his was to preach about how lucky we were to have been conceived by Christian parents. The fruit of the womb is His reward. Some of the women could knit a whole garment in just a few hours. Childbirth was highly celebrated and parents were expected to prepare their children for the practicalities of having a large family.
We birthed our children at home. There was no need to visit a medical institution for something that was a purely natural part of life. God had promised us that women who continued in holiness and faith would be saved in childbearing. But if there were problems with a birth then a birthing mother would be taken to Greymouth hospital.
The district midwife made regular visits to pregnant women and attended the births to ensure nothing went wrong. He was fine once the midwife got him breathing. Because I was now the oldest girl I learned all the child-rearing skills too.
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I bathed my younger siblings, changed nappies, helped with potty training and when the babies cried in the night I would climb out of bed to attend to them to relieve my exhausted mother. Women were allowed about two weeks off after giving birth but then they were straight back into the workforce. I always wondered how some of the ladies did it. They would birth during the night and the next morning be at the meal table to present the child to the community.
The Children of God Ruined My Life
I was rubbing her back, giving her sips of juice and bathing her face with a cool cloth. The midwife decided she needed urgent medical help but we were so far away from any hospital with no time to wait for an ambulance. We would have to transport Patie ourselves. The boys brought round one of the stripped-out vans, threw down a mattress, blankets and pillows and we helped Patie lie down. I sat by her head and held her hands as her body was being wracked by gigantic contractions. About 20 minutes into the journey we went over a sharp bump.
I can feel the baby coming. Right now! Patie was clenching my hand, almost breaking it. But God had other plans. He let me go only so far. So, I hear you! Yes, our God has ways of undermining our self made foundations and structures like an undercover Navy Seal. But He also trains us so we can now be a Bear Grylls for His Kingdom to not just survive but triumph over the harshest conditions!
Ah, too true, too true. And is still amazing to me after all these years that God wanted something of me and my life. Jenna May 22, Except for what your majors were and the fact that you were already a Christian, this story could have been written by me. My first year of college in something I thought I would love to do ended with me having to take a break, and it was only a few months ago that I found out what God wanted from me.
Thank You SO SO much for writing this post, and it helps me to be able to reflect on my testimony each time I read it. Keep it up! Justin Sargeant May 22, That is so awesome! I think I operated under the idea that I was going to write a list of everything I wanted and ask God to sign at the bottom. But now I realize that the way to live is to hand God a blank list and sign MY name at the bottom asking Him to fill in what He wants for me. Life is filled with so much more joy when this is the case. Knowing you living to bring Him glory and Honor. Jenna May 29, Thanks for the reply!
Would you mind reading it and is there a way I could send it to you word document? Justin Sargeant May 29, You can email me at mastersarge7 gmail. Forsaken Oct 13, I had the life I expected: marriage, family, home, love, and the promise of security in my golden years. I lost it all due to illness, greed, and adultery. I tried to forgive and save, but greed and adultery won.
God claims to hate divorce, adultery, and greed. God chose to destroy it. I tried to save my marriage and my family through love and prayer. I prayed for years since I became ill; thousands of prayers, yet I continue to lose more and more. I live a life attempting to love and I get rejected and abandoned. I will not worship, praise, or glorify that malicious monster.
I want nothing to do with him. He created me as I am. If he wants me he can come get me. I tried to stay connected with him and he chose to forsake me. He created me exactly as I am. Hell is not a place to go for eternal torment; the concept is absurd on the face of it considering what the bible teaches of God. Hell is simply an end; spiritual death; the loss of eternal life. Anonymous Oct 13, It makes me sad to hear your story. I would just add that bad things happen in this world because of sin. Satan is here to steal, kill, and destroy, but Jesus said He came to give life and that more abundantly.
You are entitled to whatever relationship you want with God in whatever capacity, but I know for certain that He wants one with you. I know that He cares for you and loves you. He has a purpose that we may not see or know, but His plan for redemption is made clear through His word, as is the clear depiction of Hell. I encourage you to search the scriptures for these truths. God ruined my life too with schizophrenia and I am in a very bad place because of it now.
Please pray for me. God ruined my life. I have nothing left to live for as he destroyed all my dreams. So you can keep your god.
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What a bunch of garbage! God enjoys making me people suffer, look around wake up, its so sad that some stupid person would read this garbage and actually believe it!! And how angry at God I am. HOWEVER: if we believe that he exists, we have to understand that only he has every bit of information about the brief blip of time that our lives are here and the context they are in eternity. We know that this being who knows infinitely more than we do also tries to let us know that he is fair and just. He has absolutely no need to lie to us.
If he was a complete and utter bastard, he would have no qualms about telling us so. Michelle Mar 24, Hi, thanks for taking the time to write this. God has destroyed me. He has utterly crushed me along with my hopes and dreams.
My life was on a certain trajectory and everything seemed to be falling into place, however, as soon as I turned 19 everything changed. The last four years have been hell. If this is how my life was always intended to be, then why would He let me know any different? Anonymous Mar 24, Bad things happen because people are broken, messed up, and at their core bad.
The Bible refers to this as being a sinner. God wants to have a restored relationship with everyone. If something is truly from God, it will always bring us closer into a relationship with Him whether that is not being a follower and choosing to follow Jesus and live your life for His glory, or already being a follower and drawing nearer to Him and trusting in Him as the only true source of joy.
Justin Sargeant Mar 24, Anonymous Oct 30, Oh my goodness this is so weird. I feel like everything you wrote in this post is exactly me. Michelle Nov 14, It definitely is hard. My e-mail is frodobaggins yahoo.
Anonymous Jan 03, I would love to hear your story Michelle. It seems the more honorable one tries to be the worse their life gets, or at least for some people, and for some people it seems nothing ever changes, so your glimmer of hope might be just the thing that sparks my own.
How God Ruined my Life
Yeah, the original post I think hit on a deeper nerve with a lot of people. You christians are so full of shit. So you failed three classes. Oh boo hoo. I needed a god to overcome that. Im so pathetic. Your punk ass doesnt know what failure is. I lost my left foot because i showed up for work. While i was healing, a wicked woman ruined my life.
And now i couch surf with a friend at his moms house in the ghetto. The faith and loyalty i have shown him, along with. And he kisses your ass for faili. I bet this whole story is just a fucking lie. Well christian boy, you and your wretched creator stand accused.
What now punk? Justin Sargeant May 23, It is a reminder that He has a plan for my life, and when I finally gave into his plan I found more joy than I could have had for my life. I pray you will understand this is your life. And you can be too, if you would open your heart and mind to Him. I pray you would come to a real understanding of who He is. I can relate to this. Just recently God crushed my dreams when I was only a thread away to reaching it. I felt so devastated for months but reading this reminds me that I just have to slow down and remind myself that God has a plan.
Like Liked by 1 person. Tudor Aug 04, Justin Sargeant Aug 04, Thank you. I think religion is a set of rules that men try to get closer to God whereas Jesus came down from Heaven to get closer to us by dying on the cross and suffering the penalty we deserve for our lives. It is the relationship that I have with Him, a living God, as opposed to a dead set of rules that I believe in. And you can too. Cursed Aug 29, Everything that can go wrong always does. For example, If there is one faulty item within a shelf full of good items, I always end up picking the damaged one.
I thought I could beat the misfortune by asking family or friends to pick up the item instead, however it still turns out to be faulty when I open the packaging. When I return a faulty item and pick up a replacement, that too turns out faulty. I often have to return a purchased item at least 3 times before I finally get one that works.
Even the sales staff comment at my bizarre bad luck. My health is also afflicted by bad luck as I have a disability along with a list of rare medical conditions. I always run into unexpected problems dealing with people in the medical profession. Just as I end up with faulty items, I also end up encountering faulty medical staff who are abusive, rude or negligent. When I reported him for the misconduct, he just denied ever having the discussion where I refused him to perform surgery on me.
During another occasion I was denied treatment by an emergency room triage nurse during a life threatening anaphylaxis reaction I was having. The nurses behavior was so inapropriate that she also decided to deny all allegations of negligence when I lodged a complaint. People I deal with often end up acting so out of character and mistreating me in such extreme ways that they either try to apoligize or deny and hide their actions once they have come to their senses.
At one stage I was very persistent in trying to fight against every single misfortune I experienced, I would do everything in my power to amend, resolve or fix the problem. I would try to return all faulty items, report all bad medical staff, seek a treatment for all my medical problems and adress every calamity and adversity in my life but in the end I was like a dog chasing its tail, I never got anywhere and usually ended up complicating the problems.
Nowdays I no longer have the energy or motivation to fight this ongoing black cloud. Every plan I make gets disrupted and delayed by a series of petty distracting events of bad luck. Things I touch or hold end up falling or breaking. There are always errors on my utilities bills which take a lot of time and effort to fix. Any problem I try to resolve sets me further back as it develops its own set of challenging problems causing a domino effect. And before I know it I find myself having to complete a series of obstacles before I can eventually work my way back to resolving the initial problem.
Even as I was typing this comment, my device crashed 3 times, the problem appeared to be caused by a faulty app running in the background which then turned into a lenthy task to fix before I could work back to posting this comment. A tray of food, electrical cables, chair, clothing etc all gets caught on another object resulting in a messy end. Things fall over, collide, break, clothes are torn and it brings me to boiling point.
If you tried to intentionality recreate the way one object got snagged by another, it would be near impossible. And yet in my lotto of bakeep continue to encounter bad luck that can only be described as being blatantly planned by some entity. I keep asking myself who is behind all of this malicious activity, Is it God, Satan or something else.
The way it can manipulate circumstances, events, people, weather with such percission leads me to think God is the only powerful entity to pull of such misfortune. But then the trickful, evil, petty, malicious nature of the misfortune leads me to assume a more sinister entity like the devil may be the cause. All I want is to figure out what is causing it and how to stop it. Justin Sargeant Aug 29, Wow, I am sorry to hear all of that. If you get a chance, read the book of Job in the bible. It may give you some insight. God bless. Your post resonates with me because I too see patterns. I am just paraphrasing as I have not figured it out yet either but wow — I can relate to this because some things do indeed happen that are real, explicable, and not just random chance.
Hope you can break the cycle. I am still a believer that God is bigger than all of this and all will end well,but the process seems pretty bewildering. Anonymous Aug 31, Well for a good man like me that is still single today which it is No fault of mine now that so many women are very high maintenance, independent, selfish, spoiled, and very greedy which years ago Most of the good old fashioned women were Never like that since men and women in those days had to really Struggle to make ends meat which they Accepted one another for who they were.
And i have other single friends of mine that certainly agree with me as well since many of us are Not single by choice. Now i know why our parents, grandparents, aunts and uncles had it so much more Easier for them finding Love in those days which certainly explains it. Anonymous Apr 03, OKAY… i asked her about him, she said that he is her friend and nowadays he is suffering from many many problems, and i am helping him to overcome from problems.
VicM May 06, See a doctor for possible health issues. See a therapist, very helpful 3. Talk to people online that are having similar problems. Stay away from religion and religious people. Stay away from all toxic, negative, judgmental people. Stay away from all negative information, like news, gossip etc. Francis May 12, Why would he hold people back from their greatest aspirations?
Justin Sargeant May 12, Well, whereas I appreciate your sentiments, I think you missed the point. They were better than those that I could dream up for myself. And because I followed Him, God exchanged my lame ideas for something amazing. How would you know if something was meant to happen? Justin Sargeant May 13, I agree. That being said, I also know it to be true that for those who believe in Christ and choose to live as a follower of Him that he will allow circumstances to happen in order to bring us in to a deeper relationship with Him.
God wants us not to look at the storm around us, but rather at Him through all of it and cling to Him just like the story of when Peter walked on water but began to sink because he took his eyes off of Jesus and began to look at the storm. Anonymous May 22, Your a puppet to your own illusion. Jason May 31, Rajesh P Jun 05, Beautifully written and engaging! Gave me new perspective on my life and struggles! Thanks so much for sharing!
God bless to you and your wonderful family. Asmodeous once an Angel of Light Oct 13, Anonymous Oct 20, It seems as though you came across this post not because it was forced on you, but because you were searching for something. That might speak more volumes than your angry words. Tristan Oct 20, This story is shit even if it is true. You are a pampered prick with testing anxiety.
Probably what your cunning wife liked best about you. She on Facebook? God gave you a cupcake life.
Part I – How a Religious Cult Ruined My Life
I might have been raised Catholic, but if he is holding that against me, then fuck him. Well those hopes turned to filth and treachery. What an asshole he made out of me. I am guilty of sowing the same false hope every time I encouraged someone to have faith.
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No more. My new purpose is to persecute such tomfaggottry. I will start with you. If you are not a liar, then you are clearly a pussy. A DVD? You are too easily amazed. This is so the church can save money for pastoral debauchery condoms,whores,alcohol,etc. No surprise it got you. Did God allow you to be robbed of a limb? It just took an unexpected turn.
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If your God does exist, he plays favorites. He is corrupt and biased. And you whine too goddamn much. Go to hell you deceiver. I feel bad for you. Tristan Oct 21, Yes I did. Typical Christian horse shit. Then you must be stupid! You must be retarded!
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As for feeling bad for me, why not ask God why he forgot me instead? The Truth Is Feb 03, Now that this is a totally different time all together which it is very extremely difficult for me to find love since the women of today are nothing at all like the real good old fashioned women were when most of them back then were the best of all compared to these pathetic ones that we now have today. It is a real shame that God never made women today just as nice like most of the women were in the past since they were quite different than today since the women in those days had to really struggle along with their men to make ends meat and really accepted one another for who they were at that time.
Women are very much to blame as well since their greediness and selfishness is everywhere now since i do see how they act today with many of us men which i also know friends that i know that are going through the very same thing now like me which makes it very sad for us looking for real love today. And God forbid if us good men should try to start a normal conversation with a woman that will attract us which she will turn around and curse right at us which i had this happened to me already and a couple of friends that i know had the very same thing happened to them as well.
It is real fact that the women in the past had a much better personality and good manors which made it very easy for the men in those days finding real true love the way that our family members had it as well. And most of the women years ago did really put these women today to real shame altogether as well which certainly explains why many of us men are still single and alone today since it does take two too tango.
Fuck You Apr 09, Anonymous Dec 07, God didnt ruin your life you did. Wake up its just an illusion. Tiffany Tracey Oct 17, What a joke — you were 18 and could go any direction anyway. Try having everything you care about destroyed at middle age and get back to me.